And you thought it couldn’t be easier…

This item has been inserted for the benefit of those stuck at home by bad weather and tempted to undertake DIY.

Take a tip – don’t.

Unless professionally qualified and fully insured, go lie down in a darkened room instead.

Here is an astonishing survey about the DIY trade you will NOT read in today’s papers:

A staggering 20 per cent of all visits to hospital casualty wards are the result of DIY accidents sustained at home.

DIY bodges lie behind 56 per cent of domestic rows, more than a third of separations and 20 per cent of permanent divorces.

Poorly researched DIY has caused more than 60 per cent of burst pipes and blown one in six fuse boxes.

B&Q customers are estimated to spend £2.5 billion a year on DIY materials … and £2 billion on subsequent home repairs.

DIY can devalue your home by more than a third. Best stick with the original 19th century loo seat and the Jacobean wallpaper.

Finally, if in doubt, read the instructions. Spanish, Italian or Greek? Now you know why their economies are in deep trouble.

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